The Blossom May Wilt But it Never Truly Dies
by FallenAngel1157
Summary: Otoya has a bad break up with who he thought was his true love. To escape the pain of his past, he moves to Tokyo in hope of moving on. But when moving into his apartment, he runs into a man that looks eerily familiar!
1. Chapter 1 (Ruby)

**Alright**.** I would like to state: I'm not trying to ruin anyone's life. I'm just trying to make myself feel better while at the same time giving people something to read. After being told that I ruined somebody's life, that person being very close to me, I decided to write this. So maybe I can also move on. All of the things said by Kaito are things that were told to me. I hope this story gets as many views as Till Death Do Us Part. Because I would like people to know what kind of (I apologize for my limited vocabulary) shit I go through on a daily basis. Also the whole "others also go through this" helps too. Especially when you write a very believable story. So Kaito is based off of my now ex. He's going to be more classy though. He has enough nerve to know to break up with someone to their face. Not over the phone texting at midnight. When the other person is sleeping. I apologize for taking the name Kaito if you like the vocalolid Kaito. It's not him. It's just the first name I could think of. This story might be good also, because I write best when I'm sleep deprived. **

**Ok, I changed it a teeny bit. Just the name calling.**

**Tanoshimu! ^_^**

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><p>"Kaito?" I took two steps towards the brunette and I could already tell something was wrong. Slumped against the tree, his eyes were shielded by a few loose strands of his spiked hair.<p>

"You uh... Said you wanted to talk?" I heard him sigh from my statement.

"Yes I did. Thank you, captain obvious." His foot rested against the tree and his arms were crossed against his chest. This couldn't be good. So, I decided to take an innocent approach.

"Um... Did I forget something at your place? I can never remember if I-"

"Otoya. You didn't forget anything." Another sigh arose from his figure. "This is about our... _Relationship_." The words burned through me. I already knew. My hands formed fists.

"... Did I mess up? I'm sorry if it was something-" I was trying to be sweet. Trying to be nice. But mostly just trying not to cry.

"Otoya. You know, you ruined my life. You stripped me of my friends, my family, and pretty much everything I had. You stress me out. You're selfish," Oh god... I could feel the pools in my eyes. "Did you know that I missed my little brother taking his first steps? FOR YOU? I was too busy texting you to even notice!"

"Th-that's not my fault! You would have been on your phone anyways..." I felt like I was shrinking, smaller and smaller with each thing he said. My heart was racing insanely. Did it have to be like this?

"No, Otoya. It's _your_ fault." He paused and looked away. "I talked to Nagi again. She helped me realize that you were a big mistake."

"I-it wasn't wasted-" My voice cracked a bit. I couldn't hold the tears back.

"Yes, it was. You're inconsiderate, rude, selfish... You took all my friends from me. I haven't spoken to Nagi or Mei in _months. _All because I was wasting my time with you."

"It's not my fault you didn't talk to them! You talked to Ryo and Rei! Nagi and Mei both sit next to each other at lunch! Right at the end of the table where Ryo sits! And Rei follows you every-"

"If I would have talked to them, you would have made fun of them." My sadness and fear was shaping into anger.

"I don't make fun of them! I... I joke around! It's not my fault they make weird faces in class!"

"Otoya... Just stop. I mean... You're the only person I can talk to about certain things. I would like to still be... Friends."

"Friends? You just told me that I ruined your life! You should hate me!" I was so confused. "If anyone is selfish, it's you!" My shriek rang through the field outside the school. Nobody was outside at the moment. Everyone had already left on their way home. The snow crunched beneath my feet as I took steps back from Kaito.

"Otoya..." His deep blue eyes pierced through me. I felt weak, small, dead.

"... Just go away." I couldn't bear to even look at him. I turned my back to him and started walking in the direction to my house. It would be a long walk in the cold, rural town, but I could make it.

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><p>"Alright... I got all my clothes..." Packing suitcases was usually a hassle but... This made me feel free.<p>

My room was a complete mess. Everything was lying around, waiting to be taken with.

I glanced over at my guitar. The case was lying open on the floor.

"Can't forget you now can I?" I noticed a little red shimmer on the neck. My favorite pick. Also a present from-

I couldn't even think the name. My eyes watered a little bit as my mind wandered, back to my room on my birthday last year. Both of us sitting on my bed...

_"I know it's small, but I thought you would like it." Kaito handed me the pick._

_"Whoa... It's so cool," I smiled at him, my heart fluttering. "Thanks Kaito!"_

I looked back down to my guitar. I hadn't played it in 4 months. It had so many good memories... But they were painful now.

I tossed the pick into the case and gently set the guitar in also.

"Oto?" A little blonde head bobbed in the doorway.

"Yeah?" Akane stepped in the room and climbed up onto my bed.

"Do you have to leave Oto-chan?" Her little red eyes looked up at me with hope.

"Sorry lil' fox... I already got a place and everything." I smiled at my nine year old cousin and grabbed a few small things off my desk, throwing them into another suitcase.

"Awww! But you said you were going to stay for my birthday!" She smiled widely and crawled over towards the edge of the bed. "You promised!"

"Your birthday was last week silly!" I laughed and ruffled her hair a bit. A few strands were braided and it was all pulled up in a sloppy bun. It somewhat reminded me of Miku from Black Vow...

"Well you didn't say which birthday!" She giggled, jumping down off my bed and running over to my window. It was open, letting the cool spring breeze blow through.

"Look at the birdy!" Akane jumped up and down excitedly and pointed at a cardinal outside the window. Her light blue sundress matched the hydrangeas in the front yard.

"Kane I have to finish here... Why don't you go ask mom if she needs help? I think she said she was making lunch."

"Ok Oto!" Akane ran to the door and hopped over a few boxes I had lying around before dashing downstairs. I could hear my aunt scolding her lightly for sliding down the banister.

"Alright..." I looked around once more to make sure I had everything. "Posters, clothes, music... Journal!" I snatched my journal off my bed and threw it in a box with some magazines; Kerrang, Game Informer, and a couple volumes of Death Note.

Satisfied with my work, I picked up a box and carried it downstairs. I set it by the front door after hearing some laughter from the kitchen.

My aunt was making some sort of food, Akane hopping around joyfully. She always got excited this time of year, the weather becoming bearable to be outdoors in.

"Oto! I made you a present!" The blonde skipped over and held her hands out, one cupped over the other. "Close your eyes!"

"Can I just peek...?" I teased her after closing my eyes.

"No you cheater! Then it's not fair!" She dropped something light in my hand. "Open!"

I opened my eyes and looked down at the figure in my palm. A little origami dog was sitting there, made of pink paper with little purple butterflies on it.

"Whoa! Did you make this yourself?" I smiled lopsidedly at her as she shook her head.

"My art teacher showed me how! I practiced aaallll week!" She giggled and twirled in a circle. "They're really hard to make!"

"I bet!" I set the cute little pup down on the kitchen table and walked over to my aunt.

"Need any help?" She shook her head and reached over to take a knife.

"I've got it for now, but thank you for the offer." Her ruby eyes glowed against her deeper hair of the same color. It was a family trait; red eyes, red hair. My mom had the same qualities as her sister Chitose, even down to quirks with some things. Well, I only heard the stories. She had been gone my whole life. She had fallen deathly ill right after I was born, dying a year later. My aunt took me in shortly after.

"Otoya, you should bring your things down. After we eat I'll help you load up the car." She looked over past her braided hair. The two pigtails were tied with a yellow ribbon near her hips.

"I already got some of it. I barely got anything though," I scratched the back of my head. "And some of it is kind of heavy..."

She moved over to the stove and stirred something in a pot.

"Akane, please help Oto-chan bring his things down." She glanced over at her daughter, who was playing with -more like torturing- the cat.

"But mooooooom! I don't want him to leave!" Akane pouted a little and stuck her tongue out.

"Well too bad, you're going to help him." Chitose stuck her tongue back out at Akane.

"Fiiiiine! But you have to let me have some spring rolls!" Akane bounded up the stairs and I laughed. Spring rolls were her favorite food.

Soon we had all the boxes downstairs and piled up at the door, and lunch went by just as fast. Chitose and Akane helped me carry the boxes out to my car I had bought a couple years before. It was nothing special, merely a first car bought by a teenager. I was just hoping it would get me downtown without falling apart.

Everything seemed to happen so fast. I still couldn't believe I was moving out. Before I knew it, I was hugging Akane goodbye.

"You have to come back for my birthday!" Akane stuck her tongue out at me.

"Yeah yeah..." I poked her nose and went over to hug Chitose.

"Call me when you get there ok? It's a long ride." She looked up at me worriedly.

"I will," I smiled and turned to get in my car. Starting it up, I pulled out of the driveway. A flash of blue ran up behind the car and I stopped.

"Oto-niichan! You forgot the puppy!" Akane ran up to the window and handed me the origami dog.

"Oh. Sorry, I wasn't paying much attention," I laughed and smiled at her.

"You never do!" Akane giggled and stepped back from the car, waving as I left.

Three hours to Tokyo, where I hoped I could turn my life around. Three hours of driving to where I hoped I could forget. Start over. Not have to worry about him.

The trees and fields gradually gave way to suburbs, the city visible in the distance. Nearing the skyline, trains could be heard arriving in the station, the sound of people speaking incoherently. The streets were crowded, everyone rushing to different places.

I passed a couple of people playing violin and viola on a street corner. The shorter shot a smile up at his companion as cheering arose from the crowd at the end of their song.

"Um... Right street... I think..." I looked up at a street sign and nodded. "Ok. Right street. I think it was past the- Oh!"

I the building I was supposed to go to, with a parking lot conveniently in the lot next to it.

"Gah... Parking meters," I put a in a few dollars worth of change that I found in my car. _"That should be good for today!"_

The old brown brick building rose high, but not nearly as high as some of the newer structures around it. I took a few boxes out of my car and walked up to the building.

_"Third floor, second room,"_ I thought to myself.

The building was in good shape, though. It wasn't anything fancy, but it wasn't in poor condition. I was glad I wasn't moving into a place full of rats and bugs.

The boxes slowed me down as I climbed the stairs. I was exhausted when I got to the third floor. "Dammit. Why did I ever think packing so much stuff in each box was a good idea?" I muttered and set the boxes on the ground next to the door so I could fish the key out of my pocket.

I stuck it in the lock and turned it, the door swinging open.

A bay window was visible on the other side of the main room, the kitchen on the side near the door. A couch and coffee table adorned the area between the kitchen and window, a tall bookshelf on either side of the window.

But what stood out the most was the man standing in the room, taking a book off the shelf. His spiked hair seemed somewhat familiar. The piercing blue of his eyes felt like a stab in the heart as he turned at the sound of the opening door.

"... Kaito...?"

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><p><strong>Yay! Stories! I hope I can update this one as soon as possible! But that might not happen since I have school :( I worked on this for 2 days, then I stayed home today because I was tired ^_^' I worked on it for a little while, so it wouldn't count as a whole day... Or would it? I haven't dropped Till Death Do Us Part, I just have extreme writer's block as stated before. So I hope you like this one!<strong>

**Also: This is going to be published as 3 separate stories, so look for those ok? This one will say complete, but I'm making it like volumes, nya?**

**See you next water time~ **


	2. Chapter 2 (Ruby)

**Back again! With many long weekends ahead of me! So hopefully I'll be able to write some more! **

**I'd like to thank kitkatsq for reading over the first chapter of this story! ^_^ Thanks! I really appreciate it! I'm surprised there weren't any mistakes that stood out a lot! **

**This may or may not be the last chapter in this story before I move on to part 2- ...But it Never...**

**I didn't know, but apparently there can't be punctuation (or at least periods) in titles. So the name of this story was supposed to be "The Blossom May Wilt...". That way it shows that there's more after what is typed, and that it goes with the other stories. **

**A question I have is this: After I finish this story, would you like me to go back and write another? Like the same story, but from Tokiya's point of view? Kind of like how there's sister schools, only sister stories. That way Tokiya's character here will have more background :)**

**I also have a new friend helping me with my writing- Edward! He's a stuffed elephant that my cousin bought me at Meijer when we went to buy food ^_^ He fits in my hand and is super soft because he's a baby toy! So when I wrote the other chapter of this, I put him up on my desk with me. So he's gonna be helping me write this chapter too! He's like my good luck charm!**

**Tanoshimu~ ^_^**

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><p>"... Kaito...?" I couldn't believe it. It had to be him. Those deep blue eyes, that spiked hair that fell to the sides of his face; the only difference was the color. This time, his hair matched his eyes; Somewhat blue, somewhat violet.<p>

He raised an eyebrow at me and blinked a couple of times, confused. "Kaito? Not exactly..."

The two of us stood there in an awkward silence for a minute before he spoke again.

"... You're Ittoki Otoya, correct?" I nodded, my eyes still wide in amazement.

He gently set the book down on the coffee table and walked over to me. His hand was put between us casually. "Ichinose Tokiya."

I looked down at it. Handshake? Or something else? My mind didn't seem to be functioning correctly.

"You tired?" He looked at me with a smirk barely visible on his face.

"Yeah. You could say that," I reached my hand out to his and shook it. It was covered in what looked like lead on one side, like his hand had run over something written or drawn.

He noticed that I was staring and laughed nervously. "S-sorry for the mess," He glanced back at the room. A few stacks of paper were piled up on the kitchen table and books were strewn about. Multiple thesauruses lay open on the coffee table next to a laptop, and a notebook left open on the bench under the window.

"Not a problem..." My eyes wandered back up and met his. "I didn't mean to... You just... remind me of someone."

"It's fine," He nodded and looked behind me at my things in the hall. "Do you need any help with your things?"

"Um... I-if you want to help, sure. But you don't have to!" Part of me just wanted to get away from him. I knew I was going to have a roommate, but I wasn't expecting him to remind me so much of Kaito.

"It would be rude for me not to," He walked past me and picked up some of the boxes and brought them in. "This isn't everything you brought, is it?"

"No. My car is out back-"

"You drove?" He looked at me like I was an idiot. "You drove. To the city. Where parking meters eat all of your money."

"Well I had a lot of stuff. Besides, a friend of my aunt's is going to come pick it up in a few days." I shrugged and walked out of the apartment, Tokiya following close behind.

He seemed to be very... Quiet. Kaito was always so talkative. Interrupting me to say something that he wanted to... Then one of his friends would interrupt me. "No wonder I always got so mad..." I muttered under my breath. It was one of those things you don't realize about a person until they're out of your life.

"Did you say something?" Tokiya asked suddenly, making me jump. Truthfully, I almost forgot he was there.

"I was just talking to myself," I blushed a bit. It was always embarrassing to admit things like that. People started to think you were crazy, and well... Then they didn't talk to you.

"I see." We got down to my car and I unlocked the door. Four boxes left and my guitar. I took my guitar and a light box with one hand. Tokiya took the other three and we hiked back up to the apartment.

"Well my room is right there," Tokiya nodded towards a door. "So I guess I'll put this stuff in here." He walked into the room next to it and set the boxes on the floor. I followed him in and set my guitar case on the queen size bed. It was nice for a small apartment.

Tokiya walked back to the living room and sat down on the floor. His back was against the couch, and he was facing his laptop. I walked over to the doorway after hearing a buzzing sound. Tokiya reached over a bit and grabbed his phone.

"Hello?" He said in a bored tone, clicking a few things on his laptop. "Yeah. I know. I'm working on it right now," He hit a few random keys on the keyboard to make a clicking sound.

"I'm not faking Reiji… Yes, I know it's in a couple of days… If you force it on me-" He sighed and I could hear a voice saying something on the other end of the phone. "Did you just call to bitch at me? I'm trying my best! Ok?"

"Well why don't you do this? Oh right, because you can't! So just- let me work!" He hung up the phone and slammed it down, muttering something about deadlines under his breath.

I walked up behind him and leaned over the couch. "Anything I can help with?"

"No." He was still obviously angry, his shoulders hunched as his fingers ticked away at the keys. I saw that he was writing something; words forming under every little movement from his hands.

"You writing something?" I laughed a little. "Sounds like you're supposed to be working-"

"I am. Now will you please leave me alone?" He turned to look at me with a glare. I stared back with an innocent expression.

Another sigh came from him. "I'm sorry. I know you just got here. I shouldn't be so rude." His hand reached over and grabbed a pair of rectangular framed glasses. "I'm just… Extremely stressed at the moment."

"If you work yourself too hard those things can happen," I scanned my eyes over the screen as he turned back and started typing.

_"… Mit… Mit-suki…" I hated the dreaded name. She always said it, always. I was tired of her! She was always making me feel guilty. Always making me feel alone. I was truly alone after Sakura left me… Tears came down my face-_

My eyes grew wide. Mitsuki… Sakura…

"You read Mitsuki no Ritoru Akuma too?" I smiled really wide.

Tokiya sat up a little, his shoulders stiffening. "... N-no…"

I laughed and leaned further over the couch. "It's ok! I mean, yuri is really cute…" I trailed off a bit as Tokiya hit save on the story and exited out of it, going on the internet really quick and searching something up on google.

"... I don't read it… I write it…" He ate the remaining bit of a half eaten cookie on the coffee table next to his laptop.

"... Like… Fanfictions?" I held in a laugh. A guy writing fanfictions? Wasn't that more of a girl thing? "You don't make it all weird do you?"

He clenched his left hand while waiting for the page to load. "No. I don't write fanfictions."

"Then what were you writing? It's gotta be something-" He stood up and walked over to the bookshelf, pulling off a few books. All Mitsuki no Ritoru Akuma manga. He tossed one of them over at me.

"Open the cover." I did as he said, seeing the author's signature scribbled on the inside; Rin Yukimora.

"You got a signed copy? That's awesome!" I looked up at him, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. Just like Kaito.

He sighed and grabbed the pen that lay on the open notebook under the bay window. There was obviously something I wasn't understanding. I thought for a few seconds. I seriously had no clue.

"Give me that," He took the book from me and opened the cover. With the pen he wrote something. _On a signed copy. _Was he nuts?

"Did you just... In a signed book..." I gaped as he handed the book back to me.

Looking down yet again, I saw another signature; Identical to the first. The gears in my head started turning.

"... Rin-san?" I looked up at him in disbelief. A shy smirk formed on his face and he shrugged nonchalantly.

"Pleased to meet you."

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><p><strong>Oh wow. This one took about a week. Sadly, I didn't work on it as much as I planned : But I might stay up a little later today and work on more! **

**Tomorrow I get to be a little kid again: School field trip! Yaaaay holocaust museum! I feel like I might be a Tokiya when I get there. I always get excited at museums ^_^ I geek out over some things. I get excited over video games like I would imagine Syo or Otoya doing, music and learning new songs like pretty much every guy in STARISH after reading over one of Haruka's compositions, and for some reason I imagine Tokiya geeking out at museums. **

**Although he wouldn't be like me... **

**Me: OMFG LOOK AT THAT! IT'S A HUNDRED YEARS OLD ASDFGHJKL! AND THAT'S FROM THE TITANIC! HOLY CRAP THIS IS SO COOL!**

**Tokiya: ... *grinning like Hayato but hiding it behind his scarf* ... Cool... **

**Anyways, enough of me being a total dork all over the place! I hope you enjoyed this fantastical work produced by le me! *sarcasm* Why am I putting so many asterisks? Sheesh I need to just calm down... I've felt like Natsuki the past few days. All hyper and stuff. It's probably because I've been staying up later and waking up at the same time; therefore not sleeping. But at least I'm not waking up in the middle of the night -_- That's always a bitch.**

**See you next water time~**


	3. Chapter 3 (Ruby)

**Hey there. I've had this one brewing for a while. So I decided to finally finish it! Yaaay! **

**I haven't given up on TDDUP, but I'll be working on it.**

**Tanoshimu~!**

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><p>I met him back in the first grade.<p>

My aunt had decided to move after I started school. The area we lived was notorious for it's terrible education. I remember being taught colors in first grade.

So halfway through my first grade year, we moved to the next town over, which was known for having good schools.

My first day of school wasn't very memorable. The only person who talked to me was a kid that rode the bus with me.

I my first week or so was... sad. Alone. Everybody already made fun of me because I liked singing, and they all said I talked too much. The kids at my old school may have been delinquents, but they were never this hateful.

One day while wandering the playground by myself, Kaito came over to me.

"Hey, you're that new kid right?" I didn't know who he was; we were in different classes. But someone actually talking to me? And not doing it to insult me?

"Y-yeah! I'm Otoya!" I was so desperate to make a friend.

"I'm Kaito. That's my girlfriend," He pointed over at a girl with light brown hair.

Girlfriend? I never understood that stuff. When the other kids had girlfriends or boyfriends. I thought it was a bit strange, but someone was being nice to me!

He grabbed my wrist and dragged me across the field to the edge of the school's property. None of the kids went over to this area. There were big trees growing up around the field, and the teachers told us not to go past them.

"I don't think we're supposed to go over here..." He stopped under a huge oak tree, him and that girl disappearing behind it.

"We're gonna kiss over here! Make sure no teachers see!" I was so confused. But, having no friends or a lack of anything to do, I put my back to the tree and stared across the empty field.

These things continued for a while; usually by the tree, but once the two crawled into a tire in the little sand pit. I kept telling them to get out, since kids liked to parkour over the tires.

One day, I noticed a girl. I had seen her before. Long black hair, little purple glasses. A group of her friends were talking to her, then pointing over at the little climbing tower. It was like a ladder, a tall blue metal figure with room to sit at the top.

"We're gonna go on a safari. You stay and make sure no monsters get us." They ran away giggling, leaving her all alone to climb the tower.

I walked over and looked up at her from the ground.

"Hey!" She looked down at me. "Whatchya doin?"

"I'm waiting for my friends." She looked up across the playground at the group of girls giggling.

Then I realized something; we were both being used. Those girls were being mean to her, I could obviously see, but seeing that made me realize that I was being treated the same way by Kaito.

"Do you wanna do something?" She looked back down at me after I said this. "I-I mean, they're not being very friend-like."

"They'll get mad at me." I pouted at her. Geez, this girl was being stubborn.

"Who cares? They're being mean! You're not gonna let them be mean, are you?"

Eventually the two of us started talking, and became close friends. Her name was Qin Qin, and had moved from China when she was a toddler. She actually lived across the street from me, I learned one day when I saw her out on her bike after I got home from the grocery store with my aunt.

We were best friends, all the way through school. In third grade another girl joined our little group. Isabel, a tall girl with dirty blonde hair and freckles. She was a transfer student from the states and had a thing for sports. She was even taller than I was at one point.

The three of us were always together up until 5th grade, when Qin Qin and Isabel started getting closer. I started swaying a bit from them, talking to Kaito in my social studies class. He didn't seem to remember me, but showed me all the Bleach books he had with him constantly.

"Otoya! Hey you wanna play Bleach with us?" He and a few other guys were all Bleach fanatics, and pretended to be soul reapers at recess.

"Uh, sure! But who am I gonna be?" I walked over to him and he thought for a second. I was just starting the series and didn't know many characters.

"How about... Rangiku!" I tilted my head a bit. "The one with the big boobs!"

"I-I don't wanna have big boobs!" My face flamed up red. It was so embarrassing.

"But big boobs are a good thing!" He winked at me and I sighed.

"Fine..." The little RP lasted a while, with me mostly sitting there like an idiot and not knowing the characters. I had been in a bad mood that year, mostly because of all the kids still teasing me. It was really starting to get to me.

I joined a club at school for running at my aunt's request. It was supposed to build up self esteem, and she said I was lacking it. The team was different than most; everyone set their own personal goal, then a group goal would be set for us to try to achieve. The cool thing was that we weren't scolded if we couldn't get our goal. It was just about trying your hardest and making it through.

At the end of the year we ran a 5k. But the thing was, there weren't different places. Everyone got a medal for participating, and a big clock was held high up above the finish line so you could see your time. I sprinted the last block and a half through the neighborhood we ran through. I fell in love with running that year. And it especially helped that one of the coaches was someone I knew from when I used to swim at a summer camp.

Sixth grade I grew apart from Kaito again. We were on different teams; meaning we had different groups of teachers. I was in the classes upstairs, and he had the classes downstairs. I didn't talk to him that much, but I was still friends with Qin Qin and Isabel. I started getting closer to some other people that year.

Especially a girl in my language and math class. She was so adorable, dark brown hair with the most beautiful blue eyes. And, before I knew it, I was absolutely 100% in love with her. I thought there was something wrong with me, but then I realized what it was.

Hitomi... Even just hearing the name made me blush. A friend of mine started teasing me about it, and of course I denied it all. She told me about an MMORPG she played and got me hooked on it. Well, in my opinion the game itself was really boring. Just the fact that I could talk with her made it worthwhile. Eventually I gave her my email, because being in 6th grade and having an email was an instant boost to coolness factor.

Then I found out that she had been forwarding my emails to a friend of hers, asking for advice. I didn't think of the whole "what kind of advice" thing. My mind wandered to all the secrets I told her. The fact that my aunt wanted to get me a tutor since advanced math wasn't teaching us what she wanted me to learn. All the dorky music I liked. I was so embarrassed.

I got pissed at her in the middle of class and started doodling death all over my algebra notes.

As it would to any human, poor Hitomi got really scared. That day is what broke us apart.

She had one of her friends pass me a note after class. I read it when I got home as I was instructed, and was utterly shocked.

Hitomi had a crush on me. Even more so. My brain completely shut down at that point.

But because of the way I was, I panicked. I went on my computer that night and sent her an email saying that the feelings weren't mutual. And for some reason, I actually believed it.

Once high school started, I had an array of friends. I was starting to get close to Qin Qin and Isabel again, and had an entire group of nerdy friends. I was also constantly by Kaito's side. Kaito didn't exactly get along with my friends, so I was always around him and his friends. My friends didn't seem to mind, so it was fine. Right?

The only friend of mine that started talking to Kaito was my close friend Mari. She was one of the previously mentioned video game nerds, and always had a strong opinion in things. In short, I really liked Mari. We had briefly been friends in fourth grade but had drifted apart, and then found each other again.

We used to get in small fights, but nothing big. My aunt once asked me when her birthday was and when I answered, she smiled and laughed a little.

"That explains why you're two peas in a pod. Same star signs."

It actually made a lot of sense. We were almost identical in personality. We reacted the same way to situations -although Mari was more violent than me- we had same taste in music, games, and people too. Mari also had this thing for cuddling. She was always trying to be the strong tomboyish one, but she loved cute things and cuddling.

The best thing about Mari was that I could tell her anything. Although I considered Kaito one of my closest friends, I didn't tell him half the things I told Mari. She was the first person I went to whenever I needed someone.

Mari and I started getting close, and rumors started spreading. That's the bad thing about small schools. Nothing goes unnoticed, and people are desperate for gossip. They could suddenly become obsessed with the love life of someone who they don't even like.

I don't even remember much, but one day Mari told me she loved me. She was embarrassed though, and texted me to tell me.

I started freaking out again like I did over Hitomi. I was confused; I did care about Mari to an extreme level. We were so close. But I wasn't sure if it was love. I had the exact same feeling that I did for Hitomi in that moment, but I had never felt that way before about her.

_Kaito._

He texted me back.

_**Yeah? **_

_Mari just told me she loves me _

_What do I do?!_

In my mind, Kaito was a love expert. Even though I had a soft side for romantic stories and shoujo, Kaito had actually been with people. Multiple people. He was somewhat of a playboy.

_**Really? Forward me everything stat!**_

I sent him a couple of Mari's texts. I kinda felt bad, since they were meant for me only... But he was gonna help.

_**Damn... How do you feel?**_

_Uh.. nervous. Really nervous. _

_**Excited possibly? Heart pounding?**_

_Um... Maybe?_

_**Well friend, that's love**_

_So what do I do? What do I say?_

_**You two just need to be an item already. Seriously, everyone saw it coming.**_

_So... We're like a thing now?_

_**Just accept her little heart, Otoya.**_

I took Kaito's advice. I texted her back, still shaking (with excitement according to Kaito). The two of us stayed up late that night texting. She sent me cute pictures of Princess Luna from My Little Pony, one if her favorite characters.

I started to calm down a bit and get used to the fact that I now had a girlfriend. I went to sleep and put on my favorite skinny jeans and T-shirt the next morning. I was going to look perfect for her. I even tried messing with my hair, but it didn't exactly work. My hair never did what I wanted it to.

"Otoya!" When I got to school I saw Mari along with the rest of our group under a large tree; our usual spot.

She hugged me when I got close enough, and it made me nervous again.

"Hey." I smiled and took a small step to the side, but she was clinging to me. _Great. Cuddlefest. And it doesn't help that she knows I also enjoy hugs._ Just not that one. It didn't feel right. I felt like I was cheating on someone or something. It just felt wrong.

"Something wrong?" She looked up at me and I nervously shook my head.

"N-no. Just... Weird." We both laughed a bit. We threw around the word weird like it was nothing, so my comment really meant nothing.

Once I got away from Mari and her OCD (Obsessive Cuddling Disorder), I found Kaito. His hangout spot was the bench near my group's table.

"Hey Otoya." He waved and smiled.

"Hi." My face was red and I leaned on the back of the bench.

"How's Mari?" He smirked a bit and a mutual friend of ours, Hikaru, came over.

"So I heard about you and Mari~" He winked at me and brushed a bit of his tangled blonde hair out of his face.

"Did you even brush that? You can't go around like that when your hair goes to your damn waist." Hikaru frowned at me and tried to fix his hair a bit.

"Yeah. And that shirt looks small on you." Kaito started poking Hikaru's stomach.

"Stop it!" Hikaru swatted Kaito's hand away.

"It's there, it's not! It's there, it's not!" Kaito was poking his hand into Hikaru's side.

"Kaito, how many times do I have to tell you? Fat jokes. **Not** cool." I smacked Kaito in the back of the head and he whined at me.

"Otoooo~" I ignored Kaito and tapped Hikaru on the shoulder.

"So what were you saying?" We went back to talking as usual, although the only thing any of them could think to bring up was Mari.

The next few weeks of school flew by, and before I knew it, summer break was starting. Mari and I were still together, although I knew I made a drastic mistake. I didn't want to break up with her right off the bat; that would crush her. But I also didn't want to wait too long, wait until it started getting serious. I was also afraid I would lose her. I didn't want her to ever stop talking to me.

When the time did come, about three months later, I completely broke her heart. I felt like such an asshole, telling her that I never loved her. Well, at least not that way. I did love her. We could have been twins. We were still friends afterwards, which was good.

Then things started getting weird. Back at school, I joined up with the choir at Kaito and Hikaru's request. We were partners; or more, a trio. The three of us shared music and worked together on things. I always had an amazing time when the teacher wasn't yelling at us to stop messing around or to be quiet.

I started looking at the world differently.I was starting to contemplate things. Mostly, myself. Kaito and I were really into yuri, so I wasn't opposed to same sex couples.

I knew something was up though when I was sitting next to Hikaru in choir and suddenly had the urge to kiss him.

_Wait. Wait. What did you just think? Kiss Hikaru? That's insane Otoya, and you know it. _

Then I started thinking: maybe this was why girls scared me. They didn't technically _scare_ me, but they made me uncomfortable when they got too close.

I decided to take solace in Mari, and she was completely cool with it. She actually had a thing for yaoi, and found it completely normal. She wasn't as hardcore as Kaito and I were with yuri, but she still liked it a bit.

I let her in on my crushes, and all of my little adventures with trying to read yaoi. Once she sent me porn. No joke, full out porn. I got somewhat mad at her. Mostly it scared me. It looked... Painful. And really awkward.

Kaito and I were still close friends. I didn't tell him about how I was into guys yet. We had sleepovers a lot, mostly at his house.

His family was insanely huge compared to mine: Mom, dad, older brother, younger brother, two younger sisters; one four and the other almost a year.

Kaito was mostly a nice person. Every once in a while he would get in a bad mood, but for the most part he wasn't mean.

Although he did make his younger brother cry a lot. When I came over he would always want to be by me. I never knew what it was, but I seemed to have good kid karma. Qin Qin's younger siblings seemed to like me a lot too.

But Kaito didn't understand that I liked his siblings. Where I would let them down nicely with a "Maybe in a few minutes. Kaito is trying to play something right now", Kaito would yell at them. He made his brother cry more than once by calling her annoying. And he always went back to playing his damn piano. I never said anything, though. It didn't really faze me after a while. He was always nice to them, and he talked about how much he liked kids, but when it came to his piano, or the two of us talking in his basement room, he always got more violent with his words.

Another thing that bothered me about him was the way he seemed to boast. We would be texting each other, and he would say something like "I have to go to the grocery store with my family" or "My family and I are going to the movie theater". It always bothered me. It was like he thought he was better than me because he had a bigger family than me. Was it because I didn't have a mom or dad? Maybe it was because he thought I was different for having a single parent. But he always had to point that out.

Despite all these con's, the two of us kept going back to each other. And all I ever had on my mind was Kaito. If I was at the store with my aunt and sister, I would be wishing for more bars so I could text him. I always thought about Kaito, I always talked about Kaito, and a lot of the time he was even in my dreams. My entire life revolved around him, and I didn't even know it.

" Hey Otoya, " The two of us were walking to his house from school one day.

"Hmm?" I looked over at him, his brown hair blowing a bit in the breeze.

"This is a weird question, but what if we were a yuri couple?" The question made me blush a little.

"Um... What about it?" His hands were in the pockets of his hoodie that he always wore, a tank top under. School dress code required sleeves, so he found ways around things. I guessed that he wanted to show off to girls. Or maybe he just liked tank tops a lot.

"Well... Who would be top-"

"You." I blurted out and blushed. "I-I didn't mean to answer quickly. It's just a stupid question. And really, really obvious."

Kaito laughed at my comment and smiled. "Don't be embarrassed. I was thinking the same thing. I mean, you're too cute to top anyway."

After he made that comment I started wondering if I was in love with him. By now, high school was close to over. It was November, and there was a light dusting of snow on the ground.

I told Mari of course, and she thought the two of us were cute. I personally thought she had a thing for Kaito. I mean, every girl in our school did. He wasn't popular, but he was pretty hot.

Then something strange happened. Kaito had a _boyfriend._ A boyfriend! When I consulted him over it, he got mad when I said the word gay.

"I'm not gay, I'm bi. Get it right Otoya." But this guy seemed just as "special" as all the others. Kaito was just playing them, and this guy too.

I decided to tell him that I liked him. I had to tell him, and now that he had been with another guy, I had a better chance. And the thing about Kaito was that he never turned anyone down.

The two of us stayed up late texting that night. And I mean _late_. Probably about 2 in the morning. It was a Friday night, no school work to worry about.

He mentioned his boyfriend, and we started discussing it. Then I brought up that I didn't believe he knew what love was.

I told him about how he went out with anyone that asked him, then dumped them within a month or two. And how he always said he was in love, and that it was real. Then I said that I was in love with someone, and how it was supposed to feel. I told him I thought he was doing the same thing with his current toy as he did all the others , and then he answered me with something I wasn't expecting.

_**Yeah maybe you're right... **_

He said he would tell me who he was in love with if I told him who I was in love with.

He started talking about who he was smitten with; someone who loved music, someone who loved the same stories as him, the same shows, had a thing for kids, and someone who he could talk to for hours.

I was sitting there thinking about how lucky that person must be to have an incredible person such as Kaito. Then it hit me. He was talking about me. Me. Otoya. His little Oto-chan, his Puppy Piers, Lieutenant Nivans to his Captain Redfield.

For the first time in forever, I cried. A huge smile broke across my face and I clung to a sliver of hope, hope that he really was talking about me.

_**So, Otoya. Does that answer your question? Yes, I know what love is. And do you know who I love? **_

_I think I do..._

_**You, Otoya. I'm completely head over heels in love with you. And whoever you're in love with is extremely lucky to have someone like you in their life. Who is it? Who's the lucky girl?**_

_Can I just say ditto? I love you too Kaito. You idiot._

I'd never cried that hard in my life, not even when I watched Angel Beats with my little sister, and the two of us had almost drowned in each other's tears.

Kaito and I planned that he would sleep over at my house the next day, after I went to the mall with my aunt to pick out some glasses for Akane.

Kaito ended up coming with us, and we tried on frames while Akane was getting her eyes checked.

On our way home I remembered that we were gonna get pocky. My aunt offered to come in the store with us but Kaito turned her down and said he had his own money.

My aunt stayed out in the car with Akane while Kaito and I ran into the dollar store to pick up some Pocky.

I snatched five boxes of chocolate and he grabbed five of strawberry.

"You've never had strawberry?!" He was astonished when I told him I'd never had it.

I was going to pay for it myself when he insisted upon using his own money.

When we got back home it was late, and the two of us rushed down to the basement. When Akane asked to come down with us, I turned her down somewhat rudely. All I wanted was to be around Kaito, and Akane was such a pest. I didn't realize when I had started thinking this way. Thinking like him.

"Hold on, lemme text Mari!" I grabbed my phone and started mashing buttons as Kaito peeled open a box of chocolate pocky.

"Hey, Ntnya," I looked up and saw Kaito with a piece of pocky sticking out of his mouth, "Cm'ere."

The first one embarrassed me beyond belief. I turned away from him last second. He just laughed at me and grabbed another piece.

"Stop acting so innocent, Otoya. You read porn for heaven's sake."

Mari kept texting me, and it was starting to become a chore to text her back every five seconds and explain what happened with each piece of pocky.

We couldn't Skype either. Mari had a stupid phone like me. However, Kaito had a smartphone. So we had the great idea of recording videos and sending them to her.

By the third box of chocolate pocky, I was starting to feel a little comfortable. Of course, most of the second box had disappeared while texting Mari.

Somehow Kaito ended up shirtless and on top of me. That's when he decided it would be a good idea to try to French me.

It was *technically* my first kiss, at least to me. I had kissed someone once before, but it was kind of against my own will. That stupid boy in preschool... He promised to be my friend, and afterwards was still a dick.

It wasn't really what I had expected. I mean, Kaito was basically shoving his tongue down my throat, and my mouth was already stuffed with chocolate. It was in no way pleasant.

I kind of pushed him back, then realized the position I was in. My back was against the couch, and Kaito was completely sitting on top of me. His arms were around me, and he buried his head in the crook of my neck.

"K-Kai!" I was starting to panic a bit. It was so awkward... Was something more going to happen? Part of me wanted that, but the other part wanted to dart upstairs and lock myself in the bathroom.

"What? Is something wrong with this?" His voice was kind of... Seductive? Maybe he was just tired, and that's why he sounded different.

"St-stop! You know my neck is all tickly!" I started laughing, half from being tickled (not purposely) and half out of fear.

We sent one last video to Mari, then I ran across the room and dimmed the lights. We had a cool light setup in the basement, being able to dim the lights. They were pretty bright too, so it was nice to turn that down.

I sat back down on the floor and Kaito was all over me again. He started to whisper things in my ear that made me turn red and laugh more.

Then he started doing more, and more... I was completely frightened. I mean, no articles of clothing were removed (beside his shirt earlier), but I was still scared. I mean, I had never had any sort of sexual... Well, _anything_ with _anyone_. The grinding was enough to kill me inside...

"Hey, Otoya. Here, do what I'm doing." He pushed some of his hair back. "Mark me."

"Ehhhhh?" I shook my head really fast and looked to the side. "Wh-Wh-What if someone sees it? I-I-I don't want to get you in trouble-"

"You've already got one right here..." I felt his hand near my collar bone.

"What?! Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me! Kaito why would you-"

"Relax, you can easily hide it with a t shirt!" He rolled his eyes at me and stood up, giving me his hand. "You can go see in the mirror!"

He led me into the bathroom and flipped the light on.

"Whoa..." There was a small red splotch near my collar bone. Kaito's arms wrapped around my waist, and he smiled at me in the mirror.

"So... Wanna get back to business?" I turned red again. Why was I so afraid of this? It's not like I didn't want to. I was just utterly terrified

"Um..." Just as I opened my mouth, Akane's cat came down the stairs and stood in the doorway. _My saviour!_

I knelt down and pet the little fluffball until he decided to leave.

"So?" I looked back at Kaito.

"I-I don't really want to. M-Maybe later." He sighed and walked over to the couch.

The two if us fell asleep. The next morning we invited Mari over. The three of us played Halo all afternoon after Kaito broke my Resident Evil 6 disk. I somewhat blew up at him. It was a $70 game, and I knew he only paid about $20 for it, so he didn't know this. But I explained to him that I had bought it shortly after it came out, and he just shrugged it off. He made me kinda mad when he was like this, although I didn't like to show it.

Then at Mari's suggestion, we made a little fort with a couple gaming chairs and some blankets. We all crawled in, and Mari asked for a hug. Kaito was the one that responded, which made me kind of upset.

After laying squished and suffocating for a while, I crawled out from the fort and sat on the floor.

"Guuuuuys, let's do something!" I didn't get any answer, so I huffed and picked up the newest volume of Mitsuki. Rin-sama had this thing about making everything better...

Suki-chan was Mitsu's second personality. Mitsuki used to have a twin sister, Suki. Unfortunately, something happened one day that resulted in Suki's death. Mitsuki blamed it on herself, since she was there when it happened. Suki's angry spirit started to haunt her identical twin. Suki wasn't the same cutie though. She was a little demon that was out to ruin Mitsu's life.

Things started getting heated up between Mitsuki and her crush. Suki-chan also didn't want to leave Mitsu alone, and even broke through the barrier. This caused a bit of trouble with Mitsu's friends.

I finished half the book, and tried again to get the two idiots to come out and do something. It was kind of like betrayal. Kaito had said all those things to me, and then he went doing god knows what with my best friend? The next day?

I wanted Mari to go home. It was all her fault anyways. Everything was fine until she showed up.

I finally gained the courage to rip the blanket off the fort.

"I'm taking this chair. The floor isn't comfortable." My voice was emotionless as I stole one of the chairs. I sat in it and started reading again. I didn't want them to see me cry, so I faced away from them.

We sat there awkwardly in silence until Kaito had to go. His mom showed up and he left without so much as giving me a hug.

Mari didn't leave for another half hour or so, and I was glad when she did. All I wanted to do was take a shower and go to sleep.

"Oto? Is something wrong?" I threw on some shorts after I got out of the shower. The entire time I was in there I felt this stabbing pain in my heart. Why would Mari do that? Why would she steal Kaito from me? Just the day before she had told us how cute we were together. And why did Kaito go along with it?

Usually when my aunt would ask me if there was something wrong, I would shake it off and go vent to Mari. But I didn't have that. I didn't have anyone to talk to. It was just too much, and I broke down and told her.

I told her about what Mari did. She said it was fine to be uncomfortable,especially when they were doing that in my home. But for some reason, I spilled my guts out to her.

"No! That's not what I mean! I-I like Kaito! And Mari knows it too!" I was breathing so heavily I could barely breathe. She was sure to hate me now. She wouldn't look at me the same way, or she would be disgusted.

But she wasn't like that. She didn't react the way I'd heard of parents reacting to this kind of news. She was genuinely concerned as to why I hadn't told her something so important. Carrying around something so big, acting differently than I felt.

Then she said something about a counselor, and I started to shake my head. I didn't want another person in on this. I didn't want to be that weird guy who goes to see a counselor. _Oh, hey, did you hear about Otoya? He's been seeing a counselor. Must have mental problems. Oh, I also heard a rumor that he's into guys. How disgusting!_

I was just thankful that school was almost over. I wanted to move to the city. There were more people there, and in college I could probably find people with similar interests.

I forgave Mari and Kaito, and things went well for another couple weeks.

It was the day before winter break, and I had made a present for Kaito.

He had kept bringing up how he wanted to get Chris Redfield and Piers Nivans dog tags, kind of like those girly best friend necklaces for the two of us to have. We would each have one Chris and one Piers dog tag. We searched around for them, and they were really expensive, around $10 each to have engraved. And knowing Kaito, he wouldn't pay for it. I wasn't about ready to cough up $40 for dog tags either.

So I did what I could. I cut out four dog tags from an old book cover and spray painted them silver, then wrote on them with a sharpie pen. I broke my hole puncher trying to make a place to thread them on a chain.

Then I braided hemp to put them on, also adding two sparkly blue beads on each. They were from a bracelet Hitomi had given me for my birthday, and I still wasn't ready to let it go. But I would've done anything for Kaito, and they looked kind of boring without the beads.

Kaito looked kind of disappointed when I gave him the present. I told him about the beads, and read the little message I wrote on his. I asked him if he would write a cute message on mine, and he told me he would after the play.

Our part was somewhat shaky, and we were scared we did it wrong. We were supposed to do an otaku thing. I had doodled a Survey Corps outfit decked out like Santa Claus on a poster board, which was supposed to be a prop. Kaito and I picked out a song for our small quartet to perform, and he had me write it out into four parts.

Then we recruited our last couple people; Kaito's now ex, and Hikaru. Kaito was the dancing expert, so he planned a lot of the choreography. I was the 'I think that this person should stand here and move here while doing that' guy. Kaito got a little angry that I was helping, but Hikaru seemed to like my little tweaks.

The performance went over good, and we were done with all the shows by the end of the day. I rushed from my locker to Kaito's to say goodbye to him, and he hugged me halfheartedly.

The day I got back from break was when he broke up with me.

Then I took the offensive. After crying for a few weeks, I started being a total jerk to him. I saw all the things he had done, all the lies he had told, and all of the things I was stupid enough to believe. He was a terrible, heartless beast. He didn't know the difference between love and using someone.

He wrote me a poem when Valentine's Day rolled around. Part of it hurt me. He wrote about how he made a mistake, and how he wanted me back. But I also found him a fool. What kind of idiot would go back to someone after being told they ruined their life? I told his 'friend', the courier of the poem, what I thought of it.

I didn't hear from Kaito again.

* * *

><p><strong>Hi! I've been gaming too much lately ^_^' Skyrim mostly, with a little Sims 3. I've been thinking up stuff to add to these, but the Dragonborn is needed in Tamriel for the time being. <strong>

**My cousin is also staying at my house for the next week -_-# It's only been a few hours and I already want to kick him out. **

**My friend CF has been begging me to update. Like begging. Seriously. She even forced me to write this part. **

**FREE ETERNAL SUMMER! I love it already.**

**Today I got back from Anime Midwest. CF was planning on going, but I ended up going with Cesshi and a couple of other friends. I bought six Iwatobi pins, one for each character (including Gou), a No Face pin, a Squirtle pin that says "I Choose You!", Ash Ketchum's original hat, a pin that says This Is My OTP, a lace steampunk bracelet (I'm allergic to metal so I couldn't get any necklaces), and THE OFFICIAL FREE IWATOBI SWIM CLUB GUIDE BOOK. IT HAS ALL THE CHARACTER DESIGNS AND EVERYTHING. IT'S EVEN COMPLETELY IN JAPANESE SO I SADLY CAN'T READ ANY OF IT. But I still love it ^_^**

**See you next water time~**


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